Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Happy New Year!

Even though 2010 was a great chapter… it’s onto the next pages of 2011!

So we are a little over a week into the New Year and all sorts of celebrity dirt has hit the fan faster then a pair of silly bands thrown on stage at a Justin Bieber concert. So here's Da Dish...

In Baby Daddy News:

Congratulations to Owen Wilson who is going to be a Dad. If the mother resembles Barbara Streisand...this kid is screwed. The 'college fund' will be turned into the 'rhinoplasty' fund.

Black Swan’s Natalie Portman is engaged and with child. Her assumed pregnancy cravings: bread crumbs.

A Posh Pregnancy: Victoria ‘Posh’ Beckham is pregnant. I am assuming her 'delivery face' will resemble her 'red carpet face'. A pout and a stare of death into David’s eyes if she hears yet again from the doctor ‘it’s a boy.’

Is Another Kardashian Sister Knocked Up? Rumors are swirling Khloe Kardashian is pregnant because she wore a ‘flowy’ dress to the ‘People’s Choice Awards’ GASP If you saw my wardrobe people would think I have been pregnant for the past three years. She could just be bloated or she could have just left having a big dinner at a Red Lobster with Lamar.

The ‘Ball’ dropped and so did the Singles:

It’s Britney Bitch. Britney Spears finally has new single out which seems like forever, ‘Don’t Hold It Against Me’… and I sadly may have to hold it against her. Although my inner Britney fan is squealing with joy… I am a little disappointed. I wanted Brit to really bring her A game. I settled for the ‘Gimme More’ the single because I knew she was going through her post-Sinead O’Conner hair tragedy but come on … someone needs to give her a grande Frap and a bag of Cheetos and let her bust out her best auto tune voice!

Kanye…He’s a Monster! I am now obsessed with the new Kanye song ‘Monster’ featuring Nicki Minaj and Jay-Z… however, the video was frightening. Basically a modern day ‘Thriller’ video mixed with a 'True Blood" episode. After watching I felt like I needed to repent and go to church immediately…. but instead hit replay.


It’s all Kanye West’s Fault. I am so over Taylor Swift and apparently Jake Gyllenhaal is too. I guess he didn’t see much of a future with her and could see the writing on the wall (or in her coloring book) that even in her 30’s she’d most likely be still singing about high school and wearing short sequin dresses. However, it was refreshing to see she graduated from juicy juice boxes to coffee (since every single freaking date they went on was to Starbucks).

In Lindsay Lohan News:

Oh well…who cares anymore? She’s clean today…but there is an 80% chance tomorrow her father, Michael Lohan, will be on Entertainment Tonight discussing another relapse or her and ex girlfriend Sam Ronson arguing at a club while Sam "DJ's" aka "playing her I TUNES account on her laptop."

In TV News:

Kate Gosselin vs. Sarah Palin: I watched the famous ‘camping episode’ on TLC of Kate and her brood of eight going to Alaska to stay in the woods with the Palin family in the cold rain. Kate lost her marbles when she didn’t see a paparazzi camera in sight. There was a lot of childish tears and stomping of feet…. And not from any of the children.

Jersey Shore is Back and fists are pumping... at each other. There is a new a roommate in the house and her name is Deena. The only thing missing from the first episode was a pool of jello because it was a wrestling fest between all of the female roommates. Bikinis optional...thanks to Deena.

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