Sunday, December 27, 2009

Can't Wait to be CARRIEd Away... Again! SATC 2 Trailer!

2010 will bring good things... I can feel it... in fact I KNOW it!

On May 28th I will get to see my four very bestfriends again. I will get to gawk wide eyed at Carrie's fashion. It never fails- even when I watch this clip- I first look at her outfits and think how ridiculous she looks then I realize the genius behind them. Kind of like Lady GaGa- it is frightening at first... then once you take a longer look it just makes sense.

I watched the trailer and will admit right when I heard Alicia Keyes in the background singing "New Yooorrkkk" with clips of the city and then wait for it... wait for it... Carrie walk out of those double doors I did a squealing shriek much like a little girl watching the Twilight series for the first time.

The goosebumps raised on my arm and I reverted back to that young girl in my pajamas sipping a glass of cheap Pinot Grigio while stuffing my face with gobs of Smartfood popcorn on a Sunday night with the remote clicking to HBO. My dreams captured in a 30 minute show with SJP living the life I so wished for.

I am not sure what is up with the vacation to the desert and camels but I cannot wait to find out. Mark your calendar ladies and gents' (since you will be dragged there by your girlfriend).... summer just got a little hotter! Literally... I mean seriously where are they in the Sahara?

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Avatar in 3D is a MUST SEE!

Put down your shovel if you were caught in this snowstorm over the weekend and clear off your car and drive to the closest movie theater and see this movie.

When I first saw the previews for this I thought to myself, "great, humanized Smurfs on steroids" but then I became sort of intrigued. I went to the movie theater and got my bucket of overly buttered popcorn (Paula Deen would be proud) my super size Coca Cola Classic and was handed these super weird 3D glasses out of hard plastic. What? No more paper thin glasses with the red and blue lenses? Oh yes, we've come a long way my friends.

The movie began and even though it was 2 hours and 40 minutes (sorry if you have restless leg syndrome) it goes by quickly and you become consumed in the world of Pandora. A MUST SEE in 3D!

Saturday, December 19, 2009


UNICEF Ball Honoring Jerry Weintraub - Inside

Ari Gold- if this is your new client please make Mr. Pitt aware that he needs to shave that monstrosity off of his chin. It looks like he went to a nearby hair salon and took the sweepings off the floor and used one of Maddox's glue sticks and matted it to his face. The sexiest man alive should not have a chia pet growing anywhere on his body. Go get Llyod to do a makeover stat!

Friday, December 18, 2009

My Open Letter to Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods announces he will take an indefinite break from golf

Dear Tiger Woods,

I have one word for you..... ROARRRRR!!!!

What on earth were you thinking? You are married to a hot wife who is not only sexy AND classy but she can actually withstand watching your boring game of golf.

Putting... walking... putting.... walking.

My God! How horrible is this game?! Atleast with basketball there is some action, passing and running... baseball there is the anticipation "will he hit" or "will the other team catch the ball" and football people are running and trampeling over each other. With golf you just wear silly clothes and take a swing really hard hoping your mini ball will go in a small hole. Maybe this is where your sexual frustration comes from huh?

Who would have thought this type of athlete would get so many chicks? Not only did he cheat on his wife with NUMBEROUS women (what are we up to now 75?) but all of the women are skank-a-licious. They are like one degree short of "crack whore." Seriously Tiger. Now I have to see you on all of my magazines- blowing up my front covers with my normal and enjoyable stories about Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson being lonely. You are on my NBC news shows morning, noon and night as well as my yahoo homepage on a consistent basis. I have to hear cheesey jokes like "Tiger in Bed!" and "He's a Cheetah!"

The only thing that has seen more action than your sex life is my credit cards this Christmas season. Now get some help for your sex addiction and go see my homeboy Dr. Drew. I will see you on next season of Celebrity Sex Rehab. Don't listen to your sponsor Nike.... Just DON'T Do It!

Sincerely your non-fan,


Goodbye Gross Goss!

Negative Media Attention Doesn't Scare Jon Gosselin's fans away!

Jon and Kate are no longer... they are FINALLY divorced as of today.

The new equation to figure out: Kate- Jon + 8 = a hell of a lot of child support.

Gross Goss has to stop spending money on cigs and Ed Hardy gear and start footing the bill for his herd of children. I smell more interviews, tv spots and hosting gigs in the future. Ughhh... just go away already! The next thing you know he is going to be dating one of Tiger Woods mistresses to get more paparazzi time.

"The Real Idiots of Nu Joisy"

2009 Spike TV's Video Game Awards

Ok- so first there was the Real Housewives of New Jersey that created some hype and fascination as being the "real life Sopranos on martinis" instead of crack. Bravo provided us with these crazy table flipping, big haired, blue eye shadowed and fake boobed “prostitution whoas”. My eyes are still regaining sight from being blinded by so much gold illuminating from the television on Thursday nights. For example:

*sigh* I dont know why this clip brings joy to my life.I am sure one of Teresa's girls will be a cast member on The Jersey Shore when they grow up making Mamma proud!

MTV then had an idea. They had the True Life epidoses focusing on the Jersey Shore which seemed to be successful- and we have some fascination with this self proclaimed species called "guidos" and "guidettes" that only goes out at night, wears sunglasses indoors, goes tanning to the point of orange and enjoy going to the gym everday. Instead of pulling a Lindsay Lohan that mysterious powder on their face is some residue from protein shakes. Their sole job on the show besides partying is to work at a t-shirt shop on the boardwalk- something easy for their brains that are the size of my pinkie almost like the size of the guys in the house’s…. ayyy ohhh ayyyy...I digress.

So let’s meet some of the obnoxious characters in the cast that is creating a stereotypical catastrophe for Italians like myself to overcome for years and years. I may have a brother named Tony and an Uncle Vinny and we enjoy eating pasta and meatballs but it stops at that. None of this hot mess on my tv taking over my Thursday nights. It is cutting into my Real Housewvies of Orange County time... my DVR hates me for enjoying this ridiculousness.

Let’s first meet Snookie. Yes- she is called Snookie. She looks like a smaller, rounder and orange Christina Aguilera from her “Dirty” phase (i know-the irony). If this show does not give her any professional success she can always apply for a job at Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. She is proclaimed the “airhead” of the show- her hobbies include: talking on a “duck” phone, shoving her tongue down any person's throat in a hot tub and eating pickles inappropriately. She is known for the punch seen round’ the world- you know you have seen it. She gets clocked in the face by a disgusting excuse for a man. (note: MTV pulled this clip that has ALREADY aired in the previews from the show to not promote violence against women- BUT they can air interviews constantly with Rihanna and Chris Brown splashing disturbing pictures across the screen of the incident) I am sure the jackass that punched Snookie is going to try to tell the judge he was just dancing and doing his native dance: “the fist pump.”

Then we have J-Woww. Her most recognizable trait….her skunk hair… excuse me… I mean weave. Ladies.. you know skunk hair when you see it. Dark black hair with random chunky streaks of Pamela Anderson blonde running throughout. I don’t understand it and I never will – it does not look attractive. It distracts me from her short, tight Kelly Bundy dresses and ginormous boob job she got done before the show. She has a boyfriend at home, however, cheats on him with the ultimate Gotti wanna-be of the house…. Pauly D.

Pauly is the ultimate DB- he is what Jon Gosselin strives to be but cannot completely fulfill since he has like 100 kids. Pauly is like the outcasted Gotti brother that was sent away from the family. He has the dark blowout hair, orange skin, buff and his outfit of choice consists of sunglasses, a popped button down OR a t-shirt with feathers, wings and glitter or some crap like that. Some other drama going on in the house is Mike also known as “The Situation” ( I am not going to even talk about this hot mess because he is a seperate blog post of his own) who has a crush on “Sammi the Sweetheart” but she likes meathead Ronnie. Vinny doesn’t have anything going on with any one because he is like the Urkel of the show. The only interesting thing he has done is get pink eye.

All I know is that the hottub that they are sharing needs to be bleached and the crabs found in their house are not from the beach. This outrageous group of people has caused so much negative buzz that Dominos pizza has actually dropped their advertising from the show. They already had a PR mess with those employees putting their nether region hair in the pizza... now THIS!? Honestly Dominos... I dont even know which is worse at this point.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Reason # 2,748 Why I Love Michelle Obama

Exhibit A:

Michelle Obama Hosts Healthy Kids Fair At White House

Exhibit B:

Michelle Obama Hosts Healthy Kids Fair At White House

Check out the playfully elegant first lady looking fabulous in Glamour magazine on stands now....

Dude Looks Like A Lady.... Well... Doesn't He?

Shocking news from the world of Rock n' Roll... Steven Tyler has allegedly left Aerosmith. The biggest mouth in the business has gone silent.

The man who brought us hit after hit, shrieking "ga ga ga owwwww's" and Alicia Silverstone has quit the band.

Steven Tyler Hosts Aerosmith after concert party at Studio 54
I don't know how long this will last and what the deal really is... but I have a hunch it will make their next "Behind the Music on VH1" ALOT more interesting. Thoughts?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Holy Bling....I'm Blind!

So... I just finished watching Keeping up with the Kardashians on E! Khloe and Lamar's Wedding.

Two words can sum up the episode...

Holy Bling!

Lamar Odom Launches Rich Soil At Kitson LA

This ring is a new character on the show. When they role the credits if you look hard enough you can see "Bling" after the Executive Producer and before the Assistant Director.

Who knows how long (or short) this marriage will last... but much luck to the new family.

Lamar, Khloe and Bling.

Lamar Odom Launches Rich Soil At Kitson LA

Taylor Swift.... Singer AND Comedian

Well we all know that Taylor Swift is wholesome and cute... but who knew she was so funny? Ughh.. it makes her even more adorable.

Her opening monologue on SNL last night covered all the basics: her break-up with the girly older Jonas brother, her current relationship with the hot werewolf of Twilight and the whole Kanye MTV fiasco. I can only imagine Miley Cyrus was crying and sobbing into her pillow last night screaming "Why aren't I hosting SNL?!"

I have an answer for Miley. Taylor is not annoying, does not have an obnoxious raspy voice that is a knotch down from Lindsay Lohan and she does not wear booty shorts but sparkly dresses that actually cover her ass cheeks. She does not Twitter and she is not friends with Heidi and Spencer.

There was another highlight of the night. I love when SNL does these short skits mocking "The View" but to top it all off Taylor Swift took on the role of Kate Gosselin for the clip (beaver on head included). However, this made me miss Cheri Oteri's impersonation of Baw-bwa Walters. The new chick that is on the show tried but did not deliver. She sounded more like a lollipop kid from Munchkinland than Walters. Enjoy!

Grandpa's Gone Crazy....

Meet Karl Lagerfeld.

Karl Lagerfeld Receives 'Menschen In Europa' Award

No... this is not a villan from a Chuck Norris action movie nor is it a biker hippi all grown up showing his respect at a green peace convention. This is the creative director of Chanel.

This man is not only a fashion genious... BUT to put it quite idiot.

He should start a new handbag line for Chanel called "Douche." Instead of the classic and beautiful double "C" it could have black and white stitching of "DB" across the entire purse.

Why do I feel such anger at this man that would make any hanger melt with his expensive and gorgeus creations? Well.. seems as though Karl thinks that a twig is the perfect body type that all women should strive to mimic. Lagerfeld said in response to the German magazine Brigitte's decision to use real women instead of size zero models in their pages starting next year as quote:

"No one wants to see curvy women. You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television saying thin models are ugly. Fashion is about dreams and illusions."

My response to this statement:

Finger snap... head turn... finger snap... shift of the hip....oh no he di'nt!

Where do I begin? This 71 year old man has the audacity to knock curvy women... healthy women like Kate Winslet and Beyonce? Boyfriend, I am not a mother... but I may sit in front of the television and wince when I see bones strutting on the runways... but I am not eating chips.. cookie dough is my snack of choice get it right grandpa. FYI it tastes much better than your prune juice. And fashion is not about dreams and illusions. Fashion is a statement about one's self... putting forth your individuality and expressing it in a way where it makes you feel amazing.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Psycho Meets Crazy

Really? This is too easy. (Insert inappropriate pill comment here)


Ashley Simpson Evicted from Melrose Place

Ashley Simpson-Wentz was fired off of her new gig on Melrose Place... yes... the three fans who watched I am sure are sad. I think that if her manager father Papa Joe was really smart... he would give The Hills a call.. that is more up her acting alley.

The PaleyFest & TV Guide Magazine's The CW Fall TV Preview Party

Friday, October 23, 2009

NYC Housewife Will Make It Official...

The Real Housewives of New York City star Bethenny Frankel will become a real housewife...

This self proclaimed Skinny Girl is Engaged!

But she won't be skinny for too long... she is also pregnant!

'Couples Retreat' Los Angeles Premiere

Congrats Bethenny... celebrate with one of your famous margaritas!

Now a non-alcoholic of drink of course. Cheers. Here's to hoping Jill Zarin is the gawd-matha!

My First Celebrity Crush...

Ok... so I guess my first celebrity crush was really Bill Pullman in Spaceballs but I don't think that counts. I enjoyed the movie but I was too young to understand how stupid it was. Maybe it was the brown leather coat he wore- anyways....I digress.

Giorgio Armani 5th Avenue Store Opening Reception

I used to love this man ... I mean boy.....ummm since I guess he doesn't seem to look as though he went through any kind of puberty. On a for serious note-that beard on his face has been growing since 1997.

Like most girls in their twenties.. I remember him on "Growing Pains" as Luke. Then he got his big break in Romeo and Juliet... you know the movie that made the classic love story modernized and in the point of view of someone tripping on bad acid?

I hated Claire Danes for the longest time but then Kate Winslet was my next archenemy. Titanic hit the theaters and I went from seasick to violently lovesick in about 2.5 seconds. I would buy BOP magazine and Tiger Beat for the fold out posters inside. Pshhh JTT and Devon Sawa... where is Leo? I would say as I rustled through the glossy pages like a drug addict anxiously awaiting their next fix. My bedroom looked like a serial killer lived in it from my magazine wallpaper of his face. My family was actually frightened. I had come down with "Leo Hysteria." Side effects are creepy with a mix of ridiculous.

I don't know what happened. It happens to every girl one time in their life. That celebrity crush that you loved oh so much just fades away. It's like I woke up one morning and took down the Leonard wallpaper I worked so tiredlessly cutting and lunch money thrown away on those teeny bobber magazines. All down the drain.

It would have never worked out between me and my imaginary soul mate. He only dates Victoria's Secrets models and though I worked there for six years of my life at my local mall- I am the girl who sells the bras and panties at the register- not wearing them half naked in catalogs. My diet does not consist of air and water....I don't speak with a funny accent....and I am not pregnant with Tom Brady's love child.

I guess I grew up.... I became a woman.... I moved on to bigger, better and more mature things.

Brad Pitt was my next crush.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Samantha Jonsin' for Miley

Oops! Kim Cattrall and Miley Cyrus shoot a scene for Sex and the City 2 where they turn up for a movie premiere in the same outfit!

I am devastated. I feel like someone just took my favorite blouse and spilt Merlot all over it .That's what they did to my show.... my movie! The SATC sequel has been tarnished by Miley Cyrus. Since when did HBO and Disney make sense? It doesn't.

I do not understand this cameo for the film. All of us SATC fans know that Samantha Jones would NEVER do huggy or kissy faces with Miley Mop Head herself- well unless she became Smith Jarrett's girlfriend. And it's pretty far fetched that these two would wear the same outfit. The only ex Disney star that Samantha would have anything in common with would be Britney -since they both don't wear underwear.

NeNe vs. The Toxic Parrot

I am saying a silent prayer tonight that Jon Gosselin will be Nene's next Insider faceoff.

I have always loved NeNe. She is my favorite "real" (yes... clarify REAL) housewife of the Bravo network. She will tell it like it is. She is one person I want with me when I have spinach in my teeth or a booger hanging from my nose. The fact that Michael Lohan would "try" to have words with the one and only HBIC of Atlanta is beyond me.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

January Just Got a Little Colder.....

January Jones of "Mad Men" just shared in an interview with GQ Magazine that ex-boyfriend Ashton Kutcher was not so supportive of her acting. She reveals:

"He was like, I don't think you're going to be good at this." So – f— you! He only has nice things to say now – if anything, I should thank him. Because the minute you tell me I can't do something, that's when I'm most motivated."


*finger snap* Tell em' girl. Because seriously....Kutcher is one to talk about good acting with roles in Dude Where's My Car? and Just Married. C'mon buddy... go cry to your grandma. I mean.. Demi.

Leave it to Beav....

Mel Gibson posing for a picture with Kate Gosselin

Mel Gibson with a beaver hand puppet filming The Beaver in NY

Ok.. ok... not really. He is currently filming "The Beaver" on set in upstate New York.

Ummm.. looks like a hit?

Monday, October 12, 2009


It's October and pumpkins are the classic symbol for Fall and Halloween...
Northeast And Midwest Face Halloween Pumpkin Shortage
However, can someone please tell Donald Trump that choosing this orange bronzer is not attractive on his skin and he looks like a Jack-O-Lantern? His makeup artist needs to be fired asap.
Sidenote: This bronzer catastrophe also goes for the sports broadcasters on ESPN. Men... get it together.

Bun in the Oven for Top Chef Host

Something is cooking in the oven on Bravo's Top Chef... and it's not in the kitchen.
Host Padma Lakshmi is pregnant!

61st Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

Can you imagine her when she has her pregnancy food cravings on set? The production staff is going to have to stock the kitchen full force. I hope the new contestants enjoy cooking things with pickles as the main ingredient.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Nicole Richie and her Mini-Me

Nicole Richie and daughter Harlow Madden leave Jerry's Restaurant in Studio City, CA

Mamma Richie and her adorable little girl Harlow leave Jerry's Restaurant in L.A.
It must be awesome to already be able to share clothes with your daughter who is almost your same size. I kid.. I kid!

Simpson Squared

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz turns 25 and gets her buzz on at the MGM Grand Hotel Casino Wet Republic Pool Party....

Ashlee Simpson celebrates her 25th birthday at Wet Republic Ultra pool in Las Vegas

Hey Pete... keep your drunk wife away from the pool and her depressed sis Jessica away from those cupcakes will ya?

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz Celebrates Her Birthday At Wet Republic

Katy Perry has been "Brand"ed

Katy Perry kissed a girl and she liked it....

Louis Vuitton - Paris Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2010

She is allegedly dating British comedian Russell Brand.

Lady Gaga's VMA After Party

Marge Simpson will be in Playboy

Move over little bunnies... make room for a cartoon cougar!
Marge Simpson will be posing for the November issue of Playboy.
'The Simpsons' turn Angolan for Africa's DStv
Growing up I had watched The Simpsons religiously and I was always mezmerized by Marge's big blue mound of hair on top of her head. Her hair is the perfect mix of a beehive, Bride of Frankenstein and a berry bush all in one. In fact, it's so unique it makes Kate Gosselin jealous. It's the "it" doo in the animation world.
Now that she will be showing some skin in the upcoming October 16th issue I am hoping she makes a visit to Springfield's best waxing salon... uhhh if you know what I mean.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

ElisaWitch is Flying Back to The View Oct. 19th


Despite the liberal I am-I honestly wouldn't mind this Republican on The View...
Meghan McCain.
(C'mon Bawbwa- keep this in mind when contracts are up for renewel again.)
Sadly, uber right wing Republican Elisabeth Hasselbeck will be coming back with the ladies just in time for Halloween. Clear the skies....ElisaWitch will be getting her broom ready to fly back to the studio every morning starting October 19th.
*sigh* This makes me sad, but I guess "Hot Topics" will be interesting again.
(and no more Heidi Montag or Khloe Kardashian at the round table hallelujah!)
I am looking forward to fangs and claws out in full force. *hissssssss*
Time's 100 Most Influential People In The World

Vince Yawn now in Theaters....

Vince Vaughn appears on the Today Show, NYC

Cover your ears boys and girls... Vince is around promoting his movie on the Today Show.....EARMUFFS!

(And speaking of his new movie)...cover your eyes Vince's new movie "Couples Retreat" is in theaters.


Ok.. ok.. I saw it. It wasn't that bad.

It did make me laugh BUT more so made me want to go on vacation that I can't afford.*hmph* From cheesey comedy to my own tragic drama. Damn you Vince Yawn!

"Southland" has gone South....

tv celebrity

When Leno said he was going off the air...why couldn't he just follow through with his promise?

Sadly, the show Southland has gone south...umhum....thanks alot Jay "go away"Leno!Conan has got you covered bro- go retire and enjoy your collection of cars.

Not only is Leno's current 10:00 p.m. show is identical to his previous show but it's broadcast earlier and totally messes with my biological time clock. When it's on tv my body automatically things it's 11:30 p.m... and I need to stay up for my reality shows!

Due to Leno's show airing at 10 p.m. there are no longer any time slots available for the criminally delicious show Southland to return for their second season. I had really enjoyed watching that dude from the OC walk around in his tight cop uniform.

Thankfully, they are shopping the show for other networks. So note to all networks:

please pick up this show!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Da Dish Book of the Week...

Official Book Club Selection: A Memoir According to Kathy Griffin

61st Annual Primetime Emmy Awards - Arrivals

*Warning*Book may cause stomach pain due to laughing, fever due to hot gossip and hand pain due to turning of pages at high speeds.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I've Never Seen This Creature Before......

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt urge the world not to forget Iraqi refugees

Dear nice Iraqi woman in the pretty scarf,

I can see you are taken back and speechless: this was my same reaction when I first saw Brad Pitt as well.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Nancy Grace Puts Gross Goss in Check

Someone please give this woman a her a drink....give her a high five... something!

This clip is far more amazing then I could ever imagine. The fact that I haven't seen Jon Gosselin look this frightened since months back when he was sitting on that green couch with Kate herself. That glassy blank stare and the uncomfortable chair wiggle...priceless.

In fact, money cannot even put a price on how great Nancy Grace was... well maybe $200,000.. the alleged amount Gross Goss stole from the joint bank account he has with Kate. Just saying....

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Gross Goss Shake

Jon Gosselin Launches His Milkshake at Millions of Milkshakes

Since Jon Gosselin was booted off the TLC hit Jon and Kate Plus 8 (newly renamed Kate Plus 8)he has thrown a bigger tantrum worse than one of his children.

He now all of a sudden doesn't want the show to exist anymore.... which means he now needs a real job. This is the only job he is qualified for.

Douche Strawberry Pineapple Shake anyone?

Saturday, October 3, 2009

She's Gonna Make It After All...BUT "The Hills"... Probably Not

Mercedes-Benz Presents Fashion Week Spring 2010 People & Atmosphere � Day 7Mary Tyler Moore

*Sigh* am I the only one that misses Lauren Conrad on "The Hills?"

It's just not the same... It's like Mary Tyler Moore leaving her show and having the show still continue another season. Not to mention I don't think I can with stand watching the terrible acting skills of Kristin Cavallari.

However, there is a another terrible character on the show besides Kristin now.

Flesh colored beard was SO last season(holla Joel McHale)... meet "The Pratt Hat...."

Heidi And Spencer Pratt Shopping For Baby Clothes On July 29 2009 in Los Angeles
I don't really understand it. But I am hoping that since Heidi has turned into a religious freak she prays for this to go away. No...not just that hat... Spencer.

Check out the below clip of this terrible two-some on The View Thursday. Props to Spencer for not wanting to have a baby... I don't want these two procreating.

P.S.Thoughts about Spencer's multi- stone Joan Rivers QVC necklace in this clip? On special for $29.99!

TomKat renamed "TomDog"

Tom and Katie enjoying a nice joy ride together. Katie Holmes needs a hairtcut and a wax ASAP. Woof.

Tom Cruise filming 'Wichita' in Boston, MA

Top Ten List

Top Ten Reasons Why David Letterman Had "Sexual Relations" with his Staff

David Letterman plays tennis with Andy Roddick for a segment on 'The Late Show with David Letterman' in NYC

#10 Bill Clinton did it.

#9 He couldn't control himself when his lady staffers would bend over and pick up the pencils he threw.

#8 It was on the blue cards.

#7 He needed help cleaning the gap in his teeth.

#6 Jennifer Aniston said no.

#5 He has undergone post traumatic stress since Drew Barrymore flashed him.

#4 He forgot he is on CBS not HBO

#3 Since he is on "late night" he thought it would be justifiable.

#2 He wanted to be on his own segment of "stupid dog tricks."


#1 Paul Shaffer wouldn't put out

From Red Carpets to Basements.....

Lindsay Lohan poses on stripper pole in ripped leggings

At first glance I thought this was a vintage picture of Bret Michaels from the 80's. Then I realized it was Lindsay all time LOhan herself. I know it looks as if she is working a pole in a dirty basement... but doesn't it kind of look like a pipe? I am sure she knows her way around both.

This is a picture from her shoot for her leggings line 6126. Yeah..they look practical don't they? Hmm... I don't know about you but I can totally see myself walking into the office in this ensamble. Walk into a bar and men will be doing a double take at the signs to see if they are actually in a "Gentlemen's Club."

Poor Lindsay. You know her manager proposed a "leggings" line for her so she would be able to get out of cars without showing her business. It backfired Team Lohan... but this does look like a fitting career choice. Her girlfriend Samantha Ronson could DJ her dance set.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Brit-nay at Tar-shay

Britney decided to roll out of bed.... grabbed her cheetah print wallet..... and sacheted down the aisles of Tar-shay. I was in shock that she walked right past the Pizza Hut in the front of the store. My only conclusion is that she was on a mission. Was she out of tampons? Was she out of milk? Did the boys need diapers? But oh no... we all know Brit to well. I can only assume she was out of one thing.

Brit must have went to through her kitchen cabinets and realized she was out of .....Cheetos.

From personal experience I think they are in Aisle 5. Oh.. and try to swing by Aisle 8 that's where the underwear section is. But stay away from Aisle 2.. that's where the meds are.

Britney Spears goes shopping at Target in Calabasas

Saturday, September 26, 2009

SATC 2 Spoiler!

Say it ain't so.... Samantha Jones is going to get married?!

Hmmph... Should girlfriend be wearing white?

Kim Cattrall on location for 'Sex and the City 2' in a wedding dress in NYC

Seperated at Birth....

Lady Gaga's outfit at the VMA's and Glinda the Good Witch....
well if Glinda was in the year 2009 and shopped in the lace section of Victoria's Secret.
2009 MTV Video Music Awards - Show

TomKat... Siamese Twins

Nope... your eyes are not playing tricks on you.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Go all Out for the Kids!

Tom Cruise's outfit look like it was shrunk in the wash or he borrowed one of Suri's sweaters.

I think he raided Katie's closet. They do share everything... including the same brain.

Katie Holmes Watches Her Hubby Make That Money!

Friday, September 25, 2009

"Mackenzie" and the "Papa"

'Annie' Kids' Night To Benefit Those Oprhaned By Hurricane KatrinaOedipus Rex
Oedipus Rex... please meet Mackenzie Phillips.
You uhhhmm...well... you both have something sort of in common.

Some of you may know of Mackenzie Phillips. She was the lead on the tv show One Day at a Time in the 70's. She has famous siblings Chynna and Bijou Phillips. And everyone knows of her father John Phillips from "The Mammas and the Pappas."

Mackenzie is no stranger to the gossip glossies throughout the years due to her heavy addiction to drugs. So I was not surprised to hear she was appearing on Oprah this week to promote her book "High Upon Arrival."

There were whispers about how she had some "explosive news." I was waiting for her to announce she was going on Celebrity Rehab on VH1 with Dr. Drew and had another hiccup in her sobriety since she got arrested last year when they were going to film a reunion show for One Day at a Time on The Rachael Ray Show.

However, I was NOT expecting the bombshell she dropped. She went on to tell Oprah that she and her father had a consensual sexual relationship that lasted about 10 years. When she got pregnant and didn't know if her own father was the father of her baby ...she then ended the affair immediatley. This brings a whole knew level to the saying "who's your baby daddy?"

Some may say this is just to promote her book and make money, however, Mackenzie told Oprah the reason: "I understand this is a difficult thing for my family but nobody's talking about this, and if I've started a national dialogue, then I'm forever grateful."

Well... there is certainly a national dialgoue about you going around....

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

And I Ain't Sayin' She A Gold Digger...

My favorite housewife in Bravo history Nene Leakes has found herself a "Keeeem" replacement... Gretchen from the OC.

NeNe Leakes and Gretchen Rossi clown around while at lunch in Beverly Hills, Ca

I agree with your husband Greg's face Nene... not a fan. Stick to peaches... this orange is bad.

Beyonce's Milkshake

Kanye (or Kan-boo as I fondly now call him) may have stolen Taylor Swift's moment..but he also stole some thunder from Beyonce that night. From her thighs that is.

2009 MTV Video Music Awards - Show

So let me now take this opportunity to give it up for this non-single lady and her bootylicious performance.

First off- If I had her body... I would wear this outfit everyday. Yep... grocery shopping, walking the dog.. even to church. God himself (or herself) would appreciate a healthy bod like this. She's like a steamy, delicious bag of fast food. Beyonce's thighs are as American as a cheeseburger... and as thick as a milkshake. Work those leotards girl!