Saturday, April 3, 2010

Open Letter to Jesse James

Jesse James and Tiger Woods walk into a bar.....

Sandra Bullock Blindsided From Husband Jesse James Alleged Affair With Tattoo Model Michelle McGee
These two pathetic jerks have many things in common... but one thing in particular... they are dogs. No quite literally-DOGS. First they were humping and panting with all of these nasty 'bitches' and now they have their tail between their legs.

You all have read my open letter to Tiger Woods. Here is my letter to Jesse James.

Dear Jesse James,
You have the most beautiful and funny wife ever. Who doesn't love Sandra Bullock? Her snorts are like music and violins to America's ears. She has made an amazing leap in her career and is now an Academy Award winning actress.
(Yeah... she has another man in her life too. His name is Oscar and he treats her like GOLD.)

She would gush about you to the press even though she has dated gorgeus men like Matthew McConaughey and Ryan Gosling. Even though you aren't attractive in the slightest, speak as if you are a caveman and the only cool thing about you is your tatoos and motorcycles she was still head over heels for you. She loved you despite your flaws- and you have many my friend. I mean... you were fired by the orange pumpkin head himself... Donald Trump FIRED you.

Now it's your wife's turn to fire you from your job as "husband." Yes- please collect your belongings and leave your key. Also, you will not be able to use her as your reference for your next job as 'husband'.

And just like Tiger, you cheated with the most whore-endous group of women. Oscar Award Winning Actress or THAT.... hmmmm tough choice right?

82nd Annual Academy Awards - Press RoomSandra Bullock's husband Jesse James has been alleged by an American magazine to be having a relationship with this Tattoo model Michelle 'Bombshell' McGee

Now, I know you have allegedly put yourself into rehab. You are seeking out treatment to make you better from this horrible disease of sex addiction you say you have....but the only thing that I think will help you right now (since you are a DOG) is if you are neutered. Yep... cut those 'bad boys' off.

Goodluck with your treatment and remember... the only thing you will be riding for awhile will be your motorcyles.

Your Non-Fan
Erica DaDish

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