Top Ten Reasons Why David Letterman Had "Sexual Relations" with his Staff
#10 Bill Clinton did it.
#9 He couldn't control himself when his lady staffers would bend over and pick up the pencils he threw.
#8 It was on the blue cards.
#7 He needed help cleaning the gap in his teeth.
#6 Jennifer Aniston said no.
#5 He has undergone post traumatic stress since Drew Barrymore flashed him.
#4 He forgot he is on CBS not HBO
#3 Since he is on "late night" he thought it would be justifiable.
#2 He wanted to be on his own segment of "stupid dog tricks."
AND NUMBER ONE.....
#1 Paul Shaffer wouldn't put out