Sunday, July 26, 2009

Sunday's Breakfast DaDish...

Poor Paula

Oh Paula Abdul….This poor woman cannot catch a break. She’s already known as the train wreck on American Idol and she was made a fool recently by Sasha Baron Cohen in Bruno. AND NOW…. she is getting the boot from her hit show with no contract to be foreseen anytime soon.

It could possibly just be hype for the show to create drama and ratings but it also could be the fact that Simon and Randy got in a raging bitchfight over who was going to prop up Paula in each episode this season much like a ventriloquist with its limp puppet. Once the happy pills kicked in and Paula was seeing unicorns, fairies and that cat she did that “Opposites Attract” music video the boys didn’t know what to do with her anymore.

In my opinion, this whole charade hasn’t been discrete at all since they brought the “other chick” on AI (she is so useless I don’t even know her name) that the curtains were going to be drawn for Paula soon. The opportunity window is opening for her to be a judge on SYTYCD. This makes more sense with her dancing background since she had no singing background. Wait… she did? That was called singing? Really?

Well I hope she gets some sort of job. I do love her work… I love watching her fight with her eyes to stay open and random standing ovations at inappropriate times. Come to think of it, maybe on her new show she can dance and purposely fall and mess up her back… helllloo happy pills galore.

OMBP! Oh My Brad Pitt!

So it has come out that Brad Pitt doesn’t believe in God. One of the reasons I believe in God is because I am able to look at the beautiful things that I know a higher being must have created it. For example: the ocean, the sunset, the countryside…. AND Brad Pitt.

Did Angelina put some sort of witch spell on him? I know some of you think she is a saint thanks to her applaudable works. I agree it is noble. Not everyone can go to other countries and adopt (collect) children from all over. I don’t trust her though. I remember when she would make out with that creepy Billy Bob all over the red carpet and wear vile of blood around her neck. That couldn’t be sanitary....

Speaking of sanitation I would love to know if she has one of those poop genies for her perfect babies that are too beautiful they resemble children of the corn. I guarantee when they poo it smells like a bed of roses. Who knows? But one thing I do know is…. I smell something funny with that Angelina.

It could be because I am still distraught over the fact Brad left Jen. In a perfect world Angelina would leave Brad due to her bisexual ways and hook up with Jen leaving Brad with his flock of children to raise by himself taking the time slot for Jon and Kate Plus 8. I foresee a hit TLC!

Going Green with Lady Ga Ga

Growing up watching the Muppets I was horrified to see my beloved Kermit the Frog draped all over Lady Ga Ga like a fur coat. I am waiting for PETA to be all over this…. But more so Ms. Piggy. Talk about catching the swine flu… that big piece of curly tail will be all over her like Jessica Simpson at an all you can eat buffet.

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