Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"True Blood" is Truly a Bloody Mess... That I Cannot Stop Watching....

Comic-Con 2009 - Day 3 - True Blood Signing
I love HBO. They have had some of my favorite shows of all time. Ari Gold rocks my world as much as I want Vince Chase to rock my bed. And I still mourn the loss of my cuddly mobster Tony Soprano and miss getting together with my best friends Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda every Sunday night.

And now… HBO has brought me "True Blood". I must admit I did get caught up on this vampire frenzy along with all women across America called Twilight. I read all of the books in like two weeks because I was madly in love with Edward Cullen. We had a torrid love affair that began every night at around 9 p.m. and would last all hours into the night. Although I was reading about vampires…. I was more so in the zombie species every morning when I woke up from my late night reading excursions. My eyes were red, my under eyes a plum purple and my hair so wild that it could send Paul Mitchell in a hairbrush and fingersnapping tizzy.

The scariest part of the whole Twilight series was when I read the last page of “Breaking Dawn…” because it was “The End”. What do I do now? No more nights with Edward Cullen? I had to look my boyfriend in the eyes after reading about this amazing man named Ed....that's what I called him for short. We were close. But that wasn’t fair to my boyfriend because no matter what he wouldn’t be able to match up to my imaginary vampire boyfriend in my mind that I had so ridiculously created. I saw the Twilight movie and although Robert Pattinson can be summed up in the following equation: amazing to the sexiest power over twelve divided by gorgeous equals yumm...it just wasn’t like the book.

So back to "True Blood"….I was channel surfing one afternoon watching randomness on tv when I came across a “Season 1” recap of "True Blood". I scoffed at first. It was weeks after I finished the Twilight series. My vampire addiction had faded away and I was back to being sane again. But … within minutes I was sucked into the show and patiently awaited Season 2 to begin. All I have to say is… This show is out of control. While I am watching the show these are the repetitive thoughts that run through my mind weekly in every episode… EVERY single episode:

"What the hell? This is sick! What? What’s going on? Gross. Really? What the heck is she? Why is he doing that? Am I watching porn? That blood looks like candy apple syrup! What the hell is this pig supposed to symbolize? Why is she naked?"

This show is bananas. Who would have thought the little girl from The Piano would be talking in a twang accent and showing off her tatas. The sex scenes are so hardcore I forget if I am watching “Real Sex 8” or “True Blood.” I mean… I couldn’t get the horrid images of that bald vampire out of my head for a good week. (if you watch the show… you understand). But I find myself addicted and thirsty for more each week…. partly because I cannot believe how amazing Lafayette’s eyeliner looks. I wish he worked at my local MAC makeup counter.

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