Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Disney Channel Meets the Spice Channel.....

2009 Teen Choice Awards, Gibson Amphitheater, Universal City, California

So I think that Britney Spears should sit down with these young girls in Hollywood and scare their Disney butts into reality. Kind of like an AAA meeting but call it PSCOA.... "Put Some Clothes On Anonymous." Can't you just see Britney holding meetings at her home (that she's being held captive in by Papa Spears) as she sips on a Juicy Juice box and a cigarette hanging from her mouth as she yells at little Jayden James to stop peeing in the kiddie pool? That's what I would call a "life lesson."

First, let's discuss Miley Cyrus and her latest shananigans she recently pulled at the Kids Choice Awards. What was she thinking? Well… I know nothing because her brain is about the size of her double A bust. But where was Billy Ray when she decided to pole dance at the KIDS… I repeat… KIDS Choice Awards? At least now we know what career she will thrive in when she grows up and becomes another washed up child star. I can’t wait to see that E True Hollywood story. Just because you are 16 now and can drive a car doesn’t give you the right to ride a pole. I will give her some props though… she did manage keep her clothes on.

I wish I could say the same for Ashley Greene (aka Alice Cullen). She may be able to see the future in Twilight but I bet she didn’t see her naked pictures being leaked all over the internet anytime soon. She is seductively posing in front of a mirror with nothing on. She is claiming the pics were leaked illegally…. pshhhh no kidding hunny… aren’t they all? But girlfriend….. it’s illegal to look that good. Nothing like a riskay picture of a fake vampire to scare my fat butt into shape. I am running to the store and buying some Lean Cusine’s ASAP. Now that’s what I call a healthy body. Are you listening Amy Winehouse?

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