Monday, August 3, 2009

Random Rant of the Day....

Bret Michaels Performs At The Palms

"Calling All Strippers"
should have been the main casting call for VH1’s “Rock of Love with Brett Michaels.” That was the primary and only qualification apparently to win that “rock star version of Fabio’s” heart. Is it me or don’t you think that Brett should have moved from that show to “Tool Academy?” Makes more sense right?

Since my bachelor’s degree from college is failing me in this wretched economy I have been toying with the idea of signing up for the next season…. I mean…all of these contestants are getting their own reality shows! I could pretend that my closest co-worker was a pole.

There was one person on the show I will never forget. At first glance I thought that Brett had a twin sister … they looked identical. They both had long, golden blonde hair and wore tons of makeup. I soon realized they were not related when he started swallowing her face. That evil blonde we all “hate” to “hate” (there is no love involved) is Megan. She actually now has her own show. I hope she brings her little Chihuahua dog on the show….it was the only entertaining thing about her. But Megan is following a tough act....

First we had a real life Muppet named Daisy in “Daisy of Love.” This big bag of crazy always had a glass of champagne (tilted) in hand as she looked at the men in the house with what I call, "Bubble Goggles." This crushed my lifelong belief that “champagne” was only for the classy.

I compare that train wreck with Megan who thinks she’s Malibu Barbie. Except this trashy doll wants a personal sugar daddy as opposed to a Ken. The show is called “Megan Wants a Millionaire,” even though “I Want Megan to Put on Some Damn Clothes.” Where do girls today think that bikinis are a wardrobe? If you are not going in a pool, swimming in the ocean or tanning on a beach chair it is not appropriate to wear this into the store or go on national television. And to think "evening wear" is throwing on some strappy heels with a rhinestone bikini does not turn swimwear into an outfit…. It just doesn’t… a blouse and a skirt do!

I compare this breed of girls to girls who take pictures in bathrooms. Is that necessary? There can surely be a better background to take a group picture with your girlies to remember… not in a place where you do your business and use your feminine hygiene products. It is a place to touch up your lip-gloss and tell your best friend how much you are grossed out by your date. It's not a place to take glamour shots to post on Facebook and Myspace. Keep this in mind unless you want to qualify for next season of Rock of Love…. you may get your own show out of it.

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