Sunday, August 9, 2009
Does Brooke HOEgan Really Know Best? I think NOT
Let’s back up for a second….there was a reason besides being awful that the first show on VH1“Hogan Knows Best” failed. Hulk and Linda are in the midst of very messy and dark divorce. Yes- more messy and even more darker than Linda’s black eye liner and clown blush makeup. The fanny pack wearing Hulkster is dating what could be his daughter’s long lost twin while Linda prefers a surfer looking jailbait “boy” who is actually younger than her son. Ouch. She must miss changing diapers…. if she just waited it out a little while longer she could have changed Hulk’s. So impatient Linda.
Then that leaves us with the son Nick who had horrible judgment and raced his car into a tree which badly injured his best friend in this tragic car accident. So it looks as though the Hogan’s DO NOT know best. The VH1 producers than had an idea… Brooke.
Hmmm… should we give her a dating show? No- no one would sign up to date her. Hmmm.. should we put her on "RuPaul’s Drag Race" show as a contestant? No- she couldn’t compete with those verosh and diva-licious queens. Hmmm…what about following her non existent singing career (non existent for good reason) and write a robotic and badly executed script? Ding Ding Ding.
They just needed to cast the gay roommate and childhood girlfriend to add humor and throw in an occasional cheesy fight in the mix. In fact, so much cheesiness that Britney Spears would be able to sniff her way to Brooke’s Miami apartment.
However, in my personal opinion when one dyes their own hair yellow out of a box, gets horse like fake hair extensions, tans to the point of orange and still wears glitter and pleather….it shows me that person DOES NOT know best. FYI- I am speaking about Brooke not Britney for those of you who may be confused- I know there are similarities.
I enjoy her roommate/choreographer Glenn. However, why do they always think gay men put those horrendous blonde highlighted “tips” in their hair that they spike in the front? Any legit gay man would shudder at the thought. Break the stereotype… that was about five years ago when Lance Bass was considered cool and Justin Timberlake was still straight. I am not getting those two confused either…Justin is dating that man Jessica Biel.
"Brooke Knows Best" is on about forty times a day with re-run after re-run. It makes me want to cry as much as T.O. cries in one of his episodes of "The T.O. Show.” I shouldn’t be mean… I enjoy Terell Owen’s new show. I keep looking at how amazing his diamond earrings would look so much better in my ears. Touchdown.