Saturday, August 8, 2009
It's Gettin' Hot in Hurrrr... but PLEASE Keep on All Your Clothes...
“Pwease weave the stage so we can dewibate uww will be owt.”
Oh Heidi Klum… I love her squeaky high pitched baby voice. All of her “L”’s are pronounced in the same form as a “W.” It’s like German ebonics. (sigh) I miss the old Project Runway. I actually caught my favorite cast on a re-reun on Bravo yesterday. Those were the good old days when chain-smoking “big” Jay and Ms/Mister Austin Scarlett was on. Austin holds a special place in my heart. With his red “razzle dazzle” glossed lips, the rolling of his eyes as he bats his mascara lashes AND wait for it…. wait for it… his feathered hair flick.
Austin is about as pale as a porcelain doll so when they cut to judge Michael Kors all I see is his square head and bad Donald Trump bronzer (a.k.a. orange makeup) on his face. The fashion not only made me gasp that season but the drama with that "skunk haired" house mom made me smile. But now they have the same boring characters season after season that under deliver the goods in both the garment and personality department. I will give their next season another shot but it may be the first time Bravo disappoints me. One point for Lifetime.
Speaking of Heidi’s… lets segway into another one….Heidi Montag. Except she is NO model and I DON’T want to see her in her underwear… I’ll leave that to Ms. Vicky’s Secret a.k.a “The Klum."
Anyways, Montag can be seen (at your own risk) baring almost all in Playboy. The cover reads “The Gossip. The Drama. The Dirt” as Heidi stands in a white bikini with dirt smeared on her body with an outline of the trademarked bunny on her stomach. The dirt makes sense but I would probably surround her with garbage to get the full effect of her trashiness. I blame Heidi's horrible life choices on Spencer. He looks like a villainous Ken doll come to life but in the form of something that should be standing in Madame Tussades Wax Museum. If Heidi finally comes to her senses that she is married to the anti-christ she will always have a chance with Hugh Hefner. He probably kept calling her “Kendra” throughout the entire photo shoot.
Speaking of baring all… why on earth is Vanessa Hudgens still taking pictures of her self naked on her blackberry? FYI I don’t think Zac Efron is interested in you naked… he’s interested in what hair products you are using and what is the best moisturizer for dry skin. I think it’s time our young role models start living up to the squeaky clean image they portray in their films. When Kate Winslet’s character in “The Reader” is wearing more clothes than you there is a problem…..