Monday, August 10, 2009

MAN... How Can Paris be so Clueless?

Paris Hilton and Nicky Hilton Shop For Fall Shoe Fashions At Barnys!

Cher Horowitz from Clueless paved the way for the Paris Hilton’s of today… except Cher was actually entertaining to watch.

Not only that- Cher had her own bff Dionne. Paris used to have Nicole Ritchie as her bff but she had to drop her fast since Nicole began to actually eat again. Nicole also had a better arm accessory- a cute baby. Paris’s little dog couldn’t top that even if she dressed it up in pink doggie outfits. But honestly, Paris if you need a “new bff” there is a reason for that. But I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt since people out there can be so ignorant… you can’t really catch “stupid.” But you yourself are used to catching things no?

Secondly- Hilton’s voice amazes me. I have been trying to figure it out for quite some time but I am still left baffled. She will sometimes talk in a really deep man voice then she will transition back like Benjamin Button to this odd baby voice. FYI news flash … that’s not HOT. I don’t know whether or not you want a new bottle (of vodka) or you need to be burped. Make up your mind… it’s not that difficult. It’s not like you’re choosing between your regular prescription of Valtrex or the generic.

And Paris better stop bullying Lindsay Lohan around at clubs. Lindsay has a man in her life now….Sam the MAN You Messed with the Ron(G) Son. (Yeah, bet you didn’t no that G was silent.) Anyways, speaking of Ronson doesn’t she look like that chick from the 80’s movie “One of the Guys” that used to be on almost everyday on HBO. (If you understand what movie I am talking about I bet you just had an “ah ha” Oprah moment.)

Ronson is so skinny and I can’t understand how she is so slim. I don’t see paparazzi shots of her jogging in the street. I don’t see shots of her leaving a gym. I know she smokes a ton of cigs and she uses her arms as she DJ's at the turntables. But that can’t be that much of a workout. She must eat really healthy. A serving of "firecrotch" must be low in calories.


Agnewbie said...

HI-larious!!!!! So glad you posted!!

Amity said...

If I did read your blog I wouldnt know "shat" about these celebs. I might also tell you that the thought of Multiple servings of FireCrotch is enough to make me anorexic...SO maybe thats how SAM NOT the MAN stays slim...Just a thought..

I look forward to reading your future enteries!